Rubber Palm Tree
by catcatcatcatcat
Summary: It's a special day. IT'S ZEXION'S BIRTHDAY PEOPLE! But what do you get someone when they're really hard to shop for? Easy something completely random and hopefully harmless.


I'm taking a break from my other fanfics. It's really weird. Oh well. Enjoy while laughing at the fact that I don't own KH2.

Rubber Palm Tree 

It was a perfectly normal day and the sun was up and the –

WAIT. What am I saying? This is the world that never was.

Of course it's not normal.

An explosion rocked the nearby castle.

SEE?

It's Zexion's birthday. And Zexion is _really,_ _really_ hard to shop for.

Books? Nah he's already read most of them.

Yes even the Barbie ones.

Wine? The last time Zexion drank some… shudder… The rest of the organization refuses to listen to the song 'Smack That' again after Zexion's rendition of it. Let's just leave it at that.

Weapons? Let's go through the organization yearbook. Demyx and Axel spray-painting the castle, Marluxia kissing a Venus flytrap, Xigbar shaving his legs, Vexen doing voodoo on a rubber ducky, Xemnas and Xaldin running around half naked, Larxene strangling a near dead Luxord, Saix using his own custom brand flea shampoo, Lexaeus crying trying to reach for the last cookie in the jar, Axel at the bar after a few drinks dressed at Britney Spears (Let's not talk about that.) Demyx in a vegetable state and AHA here we are!

Zexion running amok with a chainsaw.

Yes. That's right. A chainsaw. And yes. Your eyes are not fooling you. That is a true genuine crazy eyed expression on Zexion's face. And yes he is running around with his tongue lolling out of the corner of his drooling jaw.

And no the world has not ended yet.

So what do you give to someone if that someone is too hard to shop for?

Something completely random and (hopefully) harmless.

XxXxX

"I've told you this around twenty eight times Axel… I DON'T WANT A FREAKING PARTY. LET ME SLEEP, READ OR WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE DOING RIGHT NOW!" Zexion stuck his head under a mountain of covers and pillows.

Axel peered at the older member with a malicious glitter in his eyes. "If I leave you alone will you consider that as my birthday present to you?"

A hand stuck out of the covers waving him off. "Sure, yeah, whatever, now get out!"

"Okay. Bye-bye!" Axel closed the door with a snap making sure that it at least woke Zexion up.

The rest of the organization greeted him with their wide-eyed stares.

"What?" Axel started eating an apple that he had snatched from the kitchens.

"WHAT'D HE SAY???" Demyx started ricochet around the hallway.

"SHUT UP YOU GUYS!" Zexion's muffled voice echoed in the now quiet hallway.

Axel took out another healthy chunk of apple before answering Demyx's previous question. "He says… And I quote…" Axel cleared his throat, " I DON'T WANT A FREAKING PARTY. LET ME SLEEP, READ OR WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE DOING RIGHT NOW!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Zexion. Get your butt out right now. We all bought you gifts and a cake." Larxene started to pound at the door.

"Well you wasted you're money." Zexion started to curse under his breath. There was no way he could get a decent sleep with all that noise.

"But we bought you a cheese cake!" Zexion grimaced. Now Xigbar had also started to join Larxene on abusing the door.

"I hate cheese cake."

"And a triple layered mango cake with whipped topping!" Demyx was still bouncing around.

"A triple layered mango cake?" The others grinned gleefully. They all knew that Zexion couldn't resist anything with the word 'mango' in it.

"With whipped topping!" Demyx was obviously on hyper mode.

"Fine. But if I hate it I'm not eating it."

They all gave a sigh of relief. The worst was over.

"Um guys. We've got a problem. A big problem… A big fat triple layered problem." Marluxia suddenly realized their dilemma as they headed back to the second floor. "We don't exactly _have_ a triple layered mango cake…"

"With whipped topping!!!" Everybody stopped to glare at Demyx.

"I vote Demyx take care of the cake. Anyone with me?" Luxord suddenly raised his hand. A flurry of hands followed his.

Suddenly the world seemed like a big place to Demyx.

XxXxX

"…Wow… I realize that a mass quantity of you got me something completely harmless and that I most definitely do_ not_ have… Another… stuffed animal…" Zexion held up yet again another plushie.

"That makes one bowl of vanilla pudding, three 1000 piece puzzles and seven stuffed animals of various size and shape." Axel drawled out the last bit with more amusement. "Oh and five minutes in blissful peace from me!"

"…I hate you all…" Zexion poked the stuffed dog in his hands. "Remember I only came down here for the cake. Speaking of it… Where is it? And where is Demyx?"

"Uh…" Eyes darted around and feet started to shuffle. "Well…"

That when Zexion put two and two together.

"You didn't let Demyx make the cake did you?" He stared at them suspiciously.

"Ah no! Erm… uh…"

"CAKE'S HERE!!!" Demyx ran in with a triple layered mango cake in all its splendid orangey glory.

He couldn't have picked a better time.

While the other's were serving the cake Zexion pulled Demyx aside.

"You bought that cake didn't you?" Zexion's eyes hardened.

Demyx laughed sheepishly. "Well… uh… Sure! Yeah whatever you say!"

Zexion breathed a sigh of relief. So the cake _was_ safe to eat.

Or so he thought…

A few minutes later Demyx started to uproot the castle.

"Demyx. What the. Hell. Are you doing?" Roxas stared at sitar player in between bites.

"I bought Zexion a gift and… I CAN'T FIND IT!" Demyx was still throwing stuff around.

"What'd you buy him?" The rest of the organization tried to remember what Demyx had gotten Zexion last year.

Oh yes. _He_ was the one who gave Zexion the chainsaw…

"I got him a tree."

…

There was a pause and then Xigbar echoed everyone else's thoughts. "… How could you possibly lose a tree?"

"…You don't understand! I got him a palm tree!"

"It wouldn't happen to be rubber would it?" Zexion's voice echoed from the other side of the room.

"Yeah! How'd you knooo…. Oh."

"Because I think I found it." Zexion removed a single rubber leaf from his mouth. "In the cake."

The rest of the organization members started spitting out the remains of the cake on the ground.

"…Okay. Aside from that… LET'S PLAY WITH THE Wii MACHINE I JUST GOT!" Axel ran around the room with a Wii controller.

"…Didn't you get that as a gift to Zexion?"

"Yeah well he didn't want it so… LET'S PLAY!!!"

TWO HOURS LATER 

"You know it's really a shame that they don't make chakram Wii controllers these days…"

XXxxXXxxXX

LOL. I've always wanted a chakram Wii controller. And the part at the beginning with Zexion and the chainsaw? You can find that in one of my up coming chapters of 'A Picture is a Thousand Words'.


End file.
